Maybe it's how I've been brought up.
Maybe it was the lessons drummed into me at Sunday School.
Maybe it's what I've learned from people...
...wherever it came from, I've realised I have a real problem talking myself up, promoting myself.
I'm not talking about boasting, about telling the world that I'm better than everyone else.
I'm talking about false humility.
Having just about finished the book I've been working on for the last year, I've been looking into avenues for publishing, which, as it turns out, is not an easy thing to do. The first step is to write a book proposal to send to an agent. This involves talking your book, and yourself, up. One of the parts you need to include in the proposal (for non-fiction especially) is your platform: the things you have in place to promote your writing. And this involves...talking myself up.
I'm in the process of creating a facebook page, basically to promote myself. Even saying those words makes me cringe a bit. It makes me wonder what people will think of me Pip McCracken: Writer - she's getting a bit far ahead of herself, isn't she? Isn't creating her own page a bit egotistical? Why would I want to like that? She's nothing special. Maybe people think these things, maybe they don't. But those are the thoughts going through my head right now.
But how often does it happen that thoughts like that stop us from achieving our goals, our dreams, the things that God wants for us? Yes, we're told not to be proud, not to boast, but is it boasting to tell people about the gifts God has given us and the passions He's put in our hearts? Is it proud to seek out ways to get those gifts to the people who can benefit from them?
I'm squirming as I'm writing this, but I'm coming to discover that putting yourself down does not glorify God. As Marianne Williamson said (and Nelson Mandela and Coach Carter requoted): We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
So, I think that's what I'm doing. I hope that's what I'm doing.
