Friends like these...

I found this quote today...


"Friendship is like wetting your pants - everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth"


But that's just a little side note...


I've had a few good ol' friends in my 28 years. I've messed up a few friendships too. I've been a good friend at times. I've been a pretty poor friend at times. I have friends that I've known for over 15 years. I have friends that I've known only a few months but expect to know for many more years.


I've learned a lot about friendship over the years. Some of it, I've learned the hard way.


One of the biggest things I've learned is that every friendship will be difficult at some point. I think good friendship is a really powerful thing, with the potential to change people, to change situations, maybe even to change the world! And I think that anything with that much power is going to be hard work somewhere along the line. 


One of my biggest problems in friendships has been jealousy. I've had good friends, people who I've been really close to, who I've messed things up with because I can't get past comparing myself to them and being jealous when I come out second best. People who are friendlier, prettier, more popular, smarter, better at tennis, holier, more talented. People who have got the job or got the guy and I've struggled to get past it. 


For years, I have run away from friendships when they get too hard. When I get too jealous, when I can't handle being second best, when I realise my friend can't meet my needs, when they hurt me, when I hurt them, I leave. Sometimes physically - moving to a new school or a new country. Sometimes just emotionally - retreating form the friendship, avoiding them, being awkward when I'm with them. 


But I'm done with that.


I'm over it.


The more I go through life, the more I see how important friends are, the more I see how everything can be stacked against friendship, the more I see they take work and the more I see how much they are worth it.